orange foxes and aloe vera
by bombsareforbabies
Summary: Zetsu is a plant person who is trying to resurrect his mother to take over the world. Naruto's favorite hobby is gardening. They make it work. (CRACKSHIP)


Zetsu has never doubted his mother's plans before _him_. It is probably because he is a monstrosity that is only vaguely shaped like a human, and he has no love for anyone else but his creator. But it could just be that everyone was a jerk to him.

.

The fact that it is easier to sneak in and spy on his progress while he is in Konoha as opposed to on the road is ironic. Not that Zetsu's complaining; his job is just much easier now. With more downtime and less Jiraiya dodging he may have become a bit lazy when it came down to hiding.

How it happens is not the problem, the fact that it even happens is the issue. It's a good thing that the blond boy is an idiot, otherwise he may actually be in trouble. Instead the jinchuuriki that he is spying on just waves and approaches with a watering can.

"I don't need water, _**I feed only on flesh.**_ " This makes the boy pout and his whiskers make him look like an angry kitten.

"I ain't a vegetarian either, but I still need to keep hydrated!" He then dumps the whole container on his head. If it were not for the fact that he is worth more alive at this point, the boy would be dead and eaten by now.

.

Zetsu does not expect to find a paper bag with a note stuck on it the next day. He picks it up, careful in case it is a trap, and reads what is scrawled messily on the paper.

MR PLANT-MAN,

I APOLOGIZE FOR OFFENDING YOU. I GOT YOU SOME STUFF THAT I KNOW CARNIVOROUS PLANTS LIKE.

~NARUTO

Inside are some meat chunks. They are a bit ripe and smell like they have been left in the sun for a while. Zetsu does not know how Naruto figured out his favorite non-human food.

.

Days pass and around lunch time there is always a bag of meat sitting in the garden Naruto takes care of. Sometimes he even leaves doodles on the bags, and Zetsu will deny collecting them if asked.

.

"Why do you leave me gifts? _**It will do you no good if I decide to kill you**_." Somehow, over the last few days, 'when' has become 'if'. It is disconcerting to say the least.

"I like gardening! And don't worry, all of my best friends have tried to murder me at some point." The boy smiles so brightly that Zetsu has to wonder if he's just a bit insane. He always did get along best with the crazy ones.

.

The night is cold and, despite his thick cloak, Zetsu is still shivering. There is a reason why plants do not do well in the winter. But he must stay up, because he knows that some sort of meeting is going on and he needs to follow Naruto to the location in order to spy. The pang in his chest is not guilt. Nope.

He jolts when he feels something get caught in his flytrap. It's warm and smells of wilderness and sweat; the scent is surprisingly nice.

"Sorry! Plant-Man, you looked cold, so I tried to give you my coat." Zetsu looks at the man in front of him. The expression on Naruto's face is one of good natured embarrassment, and his hand is rubbing at the back of his neck. He looks much too innocent to be a shinobi, or everything above the shoulders does.

Because, when he sees it without the baggy coat, Zetsu realizes his body is purely _sinful_.

.

So Zetsu does not offer to give the jacket back. He _may_ if Naruto were to ask, but he hasn't yet. It helps him sleep. Not that plant people should require sleep, but he has to do something while the other is asleep.

.

("We were supposed to meet- _**No, we weren't.**_ But- _**It is far more important to remain here.**_ ")

.

When he wakes up, it is to two bags and a card. One has the usual meat giblets, and the other has fertilizer. The card is crude and handmade, but the message makes him smile. Which is a body function he had no idea existed before today.

DEAR PLANT-MAN,

IT'S BEEN ONE MONTH SINCE WE MET! I WOULD BRING YOU CAKE, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE THIS BETTER!

~NARUTO

.

He starts noticing things about Naruto, like the way his body moves and how he laughs and how he makes him feel _human._ It is terrifying. He also notices things like the way, when he gets his lunch from Naruto directly, the blond lets his hand linger for just a second longer than necessary.

.

Zetsu starts leaving exotic seeds in packets on the doorstep. Naruto obviously enjoys gardening and the plants around Konoha must get boring after a while. He gets free food from the boy already, so he may as well give something in return.

.

Somehow they end up gardening together. It had not occurred to Zetsu that Naruto would need instructions on how to care for each plant. He is surprised and reluctantly happy when a bag of seeds is thrust in his face with a demand of "Help me with this!"

Now they spend quiet afternoons together, Zetsu snacking on somewhat spoiled meat chunks and giving commands to Naruto who pretends to be annoyed. It is peaceful to not plan the demise of a whole universe. He can live like this forever and be content.

.

Naruto makes him try lemonade. It does not end well, considering that somebody mixed up the salt and sugar. Still, it is nice to spend time together even if the beverages are terrible.

A stupid joke is made, and it makes Zetsu laugh. Not because of the joke, but because Naruto said it and his laugh is contagious. It feels strange coming out of Zetsu's mouth, and he cannot say that it is an unpleasant feeling.

The way Naruto curls up in on himself when he guffaws makes him tip over, right onto the dual-colored man beside him. He does not move, and a hand is placed onto his head, playing with his hair.

They stay like that for a long time.

.

One day Naruto brings ramen. Somehow he convinces Zetsu to try it. The man has no idea what to do with noodles in general and somehow most of it ends up on the ebony side of his face.

He does not expect Naruto to lean down, putting his head in the very vulnerable position of between his pincer-like extremities, and lick the stray ramen away. The blond realizes what he's doing and reels back, the red on his face making his whisker marks stand out even more.

After that, they do not talk about it and try to continue with how they have always been. (Always being around two months, but it has felt like forever- in a good way.)

.

Naruto continues to bring Zetsu 'normal' food to go with his meat chunks, most of which he does not like. Although ramen is growing on him.

.

They get a little closer each day, and Zetsu starts feeling warmth in the pit of his stomach. He thinks he may have gotten ill from the various things that his stomach is being subjected to, but he realizes that it only happens around his… Friend.

.

"You never told me your name." Naruto says this one day, his hands full of weeds face smudged with dirt. He looks so much like golden light and bright blue skies and Zetsu thinks that the sun is nothing compared to the man in front of him.

(And maybe, just maybe this is what _love_ feels like.)

He blames his distraction for the fact that he blurts out the truth. Because even if he stays relatively low-key, people have surely heard his _name_ before. He wants to kick himself as soon as he sees Naruto's face fall.

.

Zetsu knows that he can easily sneak up on the boy and kill him. He knows that he can trap him in his panic and drag him away. He _knows_ this. But he can't bring himself to.

Instead he wraps a slightly dirty orange jacket around his body and retreats into himself. He does not leave though, even though he should just head back to the base.

Because, there is some part of him that wants to make sure Naruto is able to take care of himself after the inevitable fallout. It's stupid, the boy has been alone since he was born, but he has no idea how to resist the urge to stay.

.

Instead of an angry Hokage tearing him in half and interrogating him, Zetsu awakens to a man with golden hair and a pout. He is holding out a bag of meat, and pointedly not looking Zetsu in the eyes.

"One day. I'll give you one day to go back to wherever you Akatsuki hang out before I tell baa-chan that you were here." He sounds cold, but not like ice. He sounds like winter has frozen over the last flower in a garden. "…You tricked me into lo- _liking_ you."

" _ **You're an idiot.**_ I love you too."

"Wha-?" But Zetsu is already kissing him. Naruto tastes like ramen.

(And later, lying together under the tall trees, Naruto tells Zetsu that he tastes like aloe vera.)


End file.
